On the Сutting Edge of the Memory Translation
by Tyroesse TwiTranslation
Summary: Amnasia - is it a punishment or a chance to begin the life from the start? Edward leaves Bella in the forest. And she disappears. A young DJ on his way to Portland meets a girl who remembers nothing from her past.
1. Prologue

Prologue

Goodbye

"Bella, we're leaving."

"Right now? Edward, why can't we wait till the end of the year?"

Edward sighed heavily. "Bella, you're staying…"

I stared at Edward, not understanding. He leaves...I stay.

"But… Why?" my voice quavered.

"There are reasons," he said quietly. For a second, I saw pain flash in his eyes but he pulled himself together again and looked coldly at me. I don't believe it... Something is wrong. He can't just leave me like that! He does love me! He does...doesn't he? Look at him and look at yourself. I felt empty. The surrounding sounds rang loudly in my head. I don't believe it... I don't believe it... I don't believe...

"I don't believe you," I whispered and tried to embrace Edward. He moved from me and stepped back.

"Goodbye, Bella. It will be better this way," he whispered. Then he turned around and quickly walked away.

Better? For who? I rushed after him. "Edward, wait! Don't do it!"

Of course he was gone but I kept running. Where? Why? This must be an awful dream! My breath hitched and there was a buzzing in my ears.

My thoughts were spinning like a merry-go-round. It can't be true. This is a nightmare! He can't just leave me like that. He can't. I'll wake up now and everything will be in place again.

But I won't wake up. His words were echoing in my head. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Why is he doing this to me?

Exhausted, I leaned against a tree. My insides were torn apart. The tears were burning my eyes, burning to my core. He's gone... I sat on the ground and tried to take a breath; with sharp pain the air broke into my lungs. Breathing out, I gripped my head. It just can't be true. It can't. it can't... The tight knot in my chest wouldn't let me breathe. The tears clouded my sight.

The words "he's gone" were pulsing in my head. He is gone.

Breathing in a jagged breath, I fell into darkness.


	2. Chapter 1 Emptiness

Chapter 1. Emptiness.

It was damp and cold. I opened my eyes with an effort but even the subdued green light hurt. I covered my eyes and tried getting up. At that second, thousands of needles stuck into my body. A groan escaped my lips and I grew rigid. I have to stand up. Once I got over the pain, I rested on my elbows and looked around. The forest was surrounding me. Enormous trees were running into the sky blocking the light with their branches. I was lying on the fern leaves. It looked like it must have rained while I was asleep because all my clothes were wet. My clothes and the cold ground were the least of my worries, I needed to get up. I gave another effort to rise, and rested on the trunk of the nearest tree deciding which way to go. There was some clear space in the fern branches ahead of me. "There's a path over there" an idea flashed in my mind. And with that thought I started walking.

I didn't know how long I had been walking, I didn't know where the path would take me. My mind was almost blank with no more thoughts than those of climbing over a fallen tree or getting over the stream.

Suddenly the path took a sharp turn and led me to a long road. On the other side, stretched a vast field and somewhere far ahead one could see a rocky coast and hear the crashing waves of the ocean. I started along the highway hoping to come across some people.

It was getting dark when a gas station appeared in the distance. I picked up the pace. The place was abandoned.

"Anybody here?" my voice was hoarse, no higher than a whisper. My throat felt as if it were rubbed by sandpaper; I started coughing.

Silence. I went around the parking lot but still couldn't find anybody. I returned to the entrance and I found a red mustang. A tall, young man in black jeans and leather coat was standing beside it and tapping his pockets in search of a wallet. He turned around when he heard me.

"Hello!" he smiled taking out the money. "30 liters please."

"I don't work here," I croaked and coughed again. "I was looking for somebody..." I forced a smile but it looked more like a grimace.

"Where is your car?" the guy asked looking around the empty parking lot.

"I've been...walking."

The guy looked at me, perplexed. All of a sudden, it was like a sharp nail hit me. I knew something was wrong...not normal...but I couldn't figure out what.

"Yeah... There's not a soul here. That's strange..." the guy went up to the porch of the building and stretched. "Shall I give you a lift, miss?" he asked, his cunning eyes flashed.

"Yes...please..."

The guy rushed to the car, his movements seeming gracefully planned. He placed the fuel dispenser into the gas tank and ran back into the building. I was following his actions, attentively with my eyes, trying to understand what he was doing.

"Get in!" he yelled to me dashing onto the street.

I got into the passenger seat as the guy jumped in.

"Welcome aboard!" he laughed. The engine roared and the car darted off.

"My name is Carter. Carter Risley," the man introduced himself as we turned to a busy highway. "And what's your name?"

"My name..." I stopped short. What was my name?

The question somehow sent shivers down my spine. I don't remember what my name is. I tried to recall some image of my past. Of the time before I woke up in the forest. Anything...but not a single memory. Silence. Darkness. Emptiness. The sharp nail in my mind disappeared; now I knew what disturbed me. He asked me about the car but I couldn't remember where it was or whether I had it at all.

"Hey, miss? Hello?" the guy snapped the fingers. "Do you hear me?"

"Yes... I...I don't remember."

"Remember what exactly?"

"What my name is," I whispered. "I don't remember...anything."

The man frowned. "Are you mocking at me? Are you going to rape me, kill me, rob me?" there were cheerful sparkles dancing in his attractive eyes.

"I really don't remember anything." I felt a biting sensation in my eyes. I raised my knees to the chin and buried my face in them.

"Miss, miss!" he stopped the car. "Don't cry."

The cars began to honk angrily behind us.

"I'm not crying," I mumbled.

"Sure?" his eyes squinted suspiciously.

I nodded and wiped a few fallen tears with my sleeve.

"That's better," he smiled and started the car. "So you don't remember anything....?"

I shook my head.

"Then let's move on... What _do_ you remember?" he asked more seriously after a long silence.

"Well... I woke up in the forest."

"When?"

"I don't know... In the morning. ...I think," I mumbled irresolutely. "What time is it now?"

"Half past five. In the evening."

"Yeah, it was morning, I think." I said with more confidence. "I walked through the trees then I saw the road. ...It ran up to the gas station. That's just about it... Then I met you."

Carter kept silence.

"What day is it today?" I asked quietly.

"The sixteenth of September."

September, 16th. The date didn't tell me anything I hoped it would – that it would reveal something.

"Where are we going?"

"I'm going to Portland. But first I need to stop off in Seattle, get things for my job. And you as I see are going with me," he grinned.

"Where do you work?" I asked. "If you don't mind me asking..."

Carter laughed. "Yeah, it's not a secret. I'm a DJ in the ULTRAVIOLET club in Portland. And I earn some money from photography as well."

"I see..."

"Look," he went on after a short pause. "Let's invent you some name? Until you recall your own," he suggested. "Or I'll say some names and you'll choose the one you like the most."

"Well, Ok..."

"So... Let's begin. Catherine?"

"Nuh-uh."

"Elizabeth."

"Nooo!"

"Jessica."

"Never."

"Mmm... Marissa?"

I shook my head again.

"Ann?"

"No."

"Julie?"

"No way!"

"Em... Mary?"

"Are you going over the names of all your lovers?"

The guy stared at me in shock. "What makes you say that?"

"Nothing, never mind," I waved him off.

The sign "Welcome to Seattle" flickered behind the window.


	3. Chapter 2 Through the night

Chapter 2. Through the night

The rest of the journey we were choosing a name for me but without any results. Somewhere inside me there was hope that I would recognize my name, that my subconscious would somehow react to it. But it kept persistently silent.

"This way," Carter said cheerfully pointing at a high brick building when we got out of the car. "Come on."

"Good evening, Mr. Risley," a concierge greeted Carter. "Mr. Nole is waiting for you."

"Hi, Peter" Carter waved his hand in response.

"Do you visit this place often?" I asked as we came into an elevator.

"More or less," the young man smiled at me.

He gave off waves of good humor and I even felt a bit better though it was hardly possible – I didn't know who I was and where I came from… Perhaps someone is searching for me at this very moment. Certainly, I must be looked for! But what if I'm alone in the whole world? Heavy feelings of anguish and despair overwhelmed me again. How did it happen that I appeared in that forest?

"Hey, chin up!" Carter smiled widely. "Everything will be all right, you'll see."

I smiled back. The doors parted and we stepped out into a vast hall. There were light beige walls, carpet on the floor, vases with flowers. The surrounding was not screaming of richness and prosperity but just showed that people living there were better off than most.

Carter rang the bell of the first door with a golden '7' on it. The door opened in an instant. A dark young man of a medium height appeared on the threshold. He was wearing a skintight white T-shirt accentuating his gorgeous chest and worn loose pair of jeans.

"Carter!" yelled the man throwing several boxing lunges.

"Hey, Chase!" Carter laughed. "How are you, old friend?"

"Never better!" at this moment he noticed me. "Hi, I'm Chase."

"Hello," I lowered my eyes shyly.

"Chase, will you let us in?" Carter interfered into our introduction. "I'll explain everything to you later."

We entered the flat.

"Watch the news...perhaps they'll...remind you of something," Carter said to me and pushed Chase towards the kitchen door. "Come on. We need a talk."

I was mindlessly switching the channels. The news was silent. No, there was news about the tsunami in Thailand, about a new museum opening, about the situation on the stock exchange but nothing about the search of a missing young girl. No one was looking for me except myself. But it's not the time to start a pity party, it's getting dark and I needed some place to pass the night. Hopefully Carter would let me sleep in his car.

"Are you kidding? You don't know her at all?" Chase cried quietly.

"Well... No. I was at the gas station and she was just there," Carter whispered.

"You are crazy," the man muttered. "She can be a swindler! One, two and it's done. And you're gone!"

"Stop talking nonsense!" Carter exclaimed, revolted. "Have a look at her! How can she be a swindler?! And Chase, have you forgotten who I am? I feel the people perfectly. I know what is on their minds."

"How do you do, Mr. Thought-reader," Chase answered sarcastically.

"I don't need it," he replied.

"It's your business then."

I rested my forehead against the doorpost. And really, what could he think of me? He could easily consider me a swindler. A poor little girl that was lost in the forest and now was starving and needing help. Breathe in, breathe out. He believes me. And that's really good.

"Carter," I glanced into the kitchen. "May I stay in your car for the night?"

"What are you talking about?" Chase jumped up. "You can stay here, there's enough room for everybody."

"Thanks, but we'd better go," Carter looked at me. I dropped my eyes. "I must be on the shooting tomorrow early morning."

"As you wish!" the man smiled. "Wait a minute, I'll bring the records," he said and disappeared in a room.

"We must choose a name for you," Carter muttered. "I can't bear it any longer."

I only shrugged my shoulders. We have to. I NEED my name.

"Here they are," Chase handed out a black package. "As I have promised – all the tracks from the latest party. You'll enjoy them!"

"Thanks!"

We left the front door and got into the car.

"You've got a good friend." I said quietly.

Carter grinned.

"Tell me why do you bother with me?" I watched street lights and neon signs rushing past the window. "After our meeting at the gas station you take me everywhere with you. You could have left me in Seattle. You have a lot of your own things to do."

He was silent for a minute. "I see you heard the conversation in the kitchen," the corner of his lips lifted a bit. "Don't be offended by what Chase had said, he didn't mean anything by it. It's just that...you should always be on the alert. Sometimes you'll understand. The world, you know, has many sides, and it conceals plenty of mysteries. We can't know trust it, and we never will. It's not always possible to understand and accept the reality as it is. I feel people, their mood, I know whether they tell the truth or lie. You tell the truth. And I want to help you if I can...."

"Thank you."

I stared through the window. Big city lights were left behind. The mustang was rushing forward leaving the night, bringing me to some unknown world. On the other hand I had the same unknown world behind so I should better thank someone for having met Carter. But for this man with such catchy positive energy, I could have been walking along the dark highway alone. Or I could have been stuck in the forest.

"What shall we do with your name at last," Carter interfered my thoughts.

"I don't know. They don't seem to hook up."

"Which one do you like the best?"

I pondered for a second. "I don't know," I sighed heavily. "Choose the one _you_ like."

"Helle," he blurted out after a short pause.

"Why Helle?" I asked. Some warmth began spreading through my body.

"Do you like it?"

"Yes. There's something in it," I said. "The one I wanted."

Carter slightly smiled.

"And what does it mean?"

"Well, that was the name of a heroine from a Russian fantasy novel*," he explained. "Besides, that was the name for untimely passed away young girls on the mythological Greek island Lesbos. You are not passed away of course but missing. Untimely," he grinned.

Let it be Helle then. I like it. There was something...comforting in it. Perhaps. The new name warmed my soul, making me relax. I settled back in the seat watching the tree shadows and wayside motels passing by. Soothing music was streaming through the speakers. I closed my eyes trying out my new name. At last I felt like a person. Who was I without a name? I was nothing, a blank space without either name or past. I wondered what my name was in my previous life?

*Carter mentions the novel The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov: .org/wiki/The_Master_and_Margarita


End file.
